pissed off

stupid ram, idiot ram, lousy coach.. super pissed off today by him lo..
anw, everything suddenly came crashing down on me.. life really seems so lousy and down and empty and fruitless and bad, just like everybody in the world is against me! wa lau, i hate it lo.. life just can't get any better for me..

yesterday fell down already, then a super part of skin of my knee was scraped off.. now i even have a hard hard time trying to move around.. idoit, stupid.. sigh.. and to think that i am not able to run for how long??? sigh, its really not about running now.. its just trying to please the coach and the school as much as possible.. ok, firstly i going 1week for june camp, 1week hols at china to visit my dad, thats 2weeks of the 6weeks training left for nationals.. and now i am injured.. i tell u he is gonna be pissed and be niaoing and scolding me for a century.. sigh.. today when i requested a change of schedule for workout to sat, he became madness and started niaoing me and kai ming.. he say u already go for 2weeks hols(he is going to use that to aim me forever lo), and now i am always requesting to miss training.. hello, mister, not that i want to skip, its just that i need to... he ask me to go for once, either sat or sun for sis weifang and bro mingyong wedding which i definately would not.. he thinks that our priority should be running now lo, i mean.. and don't regard any imptance to my other commitments.. sigh.. then he keep niaoing and scolding me, dont believe it.. after the lecture i was super super pissed by his attitude and the way he coaches.. i was thinking even of quiting nationals lo.. loser leh.. i can't believe he treats his students lik that.. spoilt my mood, spoilt my mood of even going for hols and june camp.. argh.. to thnk he is going to be using that excuse to aim me everytime i excuse myself from training.. and TO THINK HE IS GOING TO BE TRAINING ME FOR 4 MORE YEARS!!! yucks.. yucks.. i think i wanna quit track after nationals.. aiya, i don't noe why i got so upset over this trivial matter but i just was.. i was becoz i had a stupid maluating accident which happened yesterday and now i can't run, donnoe for how long and now ram thinks that i trying to slack and gives me lectures on my priority.. loser leh.. it really just spoilt my mood and made me so so upset and made me think why God wanted this to happen? why the Lord don't want to let my trainings be smooth with my other commitment.. i was thinking if he ever asked me to drop my church commitments, i would tell him right in the face that i rather drop track den drop my church commitments.. but the sch doesn't allow it! why do they have to come up with stupid ideas like cca?! whos that loser with this idea.. why do they have to come up with the sports called running? sigh, sians, sad, sheesh, sucks.. u may ask why i get so bothered, i also donnoe, i just am k? and to think that i have another big big big super imptant prob which no matter how hard tried i could not get up.. it is my walk with the Lord, same think i feel so guilty no matter why, no matter what.. sigh sigh sigh.. why am i lammenting when i am suppse to rejoice when i participate also in the sufferings of Christ? bt am i? "Where can I find hope in all the trials that you bring? How can I have joy while suffering lost? When my soul's in prison how can I find cause to sing? How did you find peace while on the cross? Though I may nv understand, I'll trust with all my heart. And from the course that You have planned I nv want to part. In searching for your way and wisdom teach me if You would. That for all times in every place my God is good.." Indeed He is good, and I am trusting my Lord for guidance on what to do..

special thanks to mr ram, my knee, my training, my running and myself for pissing me off and spoiling my mood for everyhing! thanks ah..

to darr: i understand that my training indeed sucks, but I just have to do it.. and glad that u are having a gd time these few days, tc