training today!

i pray that you will read thru the lastest entry though it may be long.. thanks


the Lord hasn't shown me a definite answer and a clear answer for my running yet, but i know that He is still working, and my faith and trust have not weaken because of this. instead my faith grew because of this! Thank God.. Well, today I decided to ask the Lord to give a sign. I asked Him to show me His will if today was gonna rain before my workout, and we cancel workout, it would mean that it is His will for me to leave, and if not, I would stay and continue my running, but running with a greater purpose than what i ran before, not for glory not for honor for myself, but for my Lord Jesus! And I promised that if the Lord shows me a sign like He showed to Gideon, i would trust immediately that it was His perfect will and not hesitate to do whatever He wills.. Thank God for the strength and courage to make this pact with Him.. on my way, i prayed hard that my will was that i could just leave all this tortue and relax for the rest of my secondary life, but nevertheless, i prayed that "Not my will, but Thine be done".. so as i arrived at the training place, the sky was clear blue with almost not a single cloud present, but i thought it looked gloomy at first.. well, I guess its God's will that I stay den.. I trusted Him immediately. Though there is still the part of me which wants to refuse His will, but I remembered the song MY GOD IS GOOD! "Though I may never understand, I'll trust with all my heart. And from the course that you have planned, I never want to part."thank God for this song. I decided to trust God and prayed that even though now I may not noe why, but His will is perfect and good, and that He would reveal the reason someday.. praise the Lord of my soul for this maverlous sign and faith He had granted me!

today was workout, everyone was tensed up, and kept really silent thruout the warm-up.. i could sense fear in most of our hearts. it is going to be a tough one today i thought. again, thru God's grace, I remembered the promise I made to God that whenever I am tempted to fear or worry, i would remind myself that "God is more than enoguh!". Why should I fear if I am walking in His will and I am trusting Him because He is more than enought! Though lil fear was still present, the Lord gave me peace and calmness. I also knew that the result of the workout meant alot to me. So I asked God to help me be contented with whatever result He gives, for it is His perfect will. usually I will sulk and complain and give excuses for every poorly ran race.. I prayed and asked God to change this whole mindset.. Whatever the results, I pray and ask GOd to help me rejoice in it because it was His will and that I should thank God and praise Him for it. I did! Which I was quite surprised! thank God for really working so much in me and slowly, as I seek His will, changing me and giving me stronger faith.

my God-brother, jeffery did a super fast time, amazingly fast. I guess it was because my coach was smiling from ear to ear. Well, he had said to me when I consulted Him for my problem a few days ago that I had not experienced the beauty of running. He did a very good timing, however, I guess he threw up quite badly. As I comforted Him, I asked myself, "Is this really the beauty of running? So wad if really you do break the world record, say for instance? It was for self glory and honor. Is there satisfaction in it in the end? Can we bring our trophy our medals up to heaven? Nah. What I found the beauty of running is when we run to glorify God. And when He is glorified, we are truly satisfied in our souls because WE DID SOMETHING FOR THE LORD! And the beauty of running is when we have the Lord by our side, guiding every step we take!" I can't imagine how it would be like in Heaven. The song faithful men said, ".. now their running on streets of gold" that is what I mean by the beauty of running. Running in the heavens, (if i am able to take the words literally) with those faithful men and of course my most FAITHFUL GUIDE! That is what I really mean by the beauty of running. With God in it, everythings a beauty. Even in everything we do, if we honor God, there is satistfaction! And beauty. Well, I cant wait for the day when we shall run side by side with our Lord Jesus. WOuld it be possible? Well, that, we have to wait till we get to Heaven! Wow!

As I walk pass my coach, he was rather disapointed with me I guess. He compared me with another guy who improved during my two weeks of holidays. He said, "See the difference?" Yeah, I see it. I run for God and He don't. Thats it! heh. Really, I feel that if God wills for me to be here, He might have something in store for me. If I were to run only for His glory and honor and not a single bit of it for myself, for without Christ we can do nothing but with Him we can do all things because our strength lies in Him. If I were to run for His glory, He would make me a champion. He promised it in the song, But continue thou, "Champions He'll make you, if you run His race" Indeed, I have faith in God that He will make me a champion if I will seek to glorfy only Him. As sis dawn just reminded me, He will honor those who honor Him! I have faith in Him, but I don't have faith in myself. I fear when He helps me run the race, I was to betray Him and grab all the glory for myself! I was guilty of it for my X-country. Yikes, so I really need prayers from my brothers and sisters. If I were to run for Him, I should not seek any self-glorification. Thats it, and I trust Him that He will help me seek only to honor him and He will run the race for me. Anw, National Track and Field's coming up. A race that I didnt want to run, but since it is the will of the Lord now, I shall run it with faith. PRay for me that the Lord would now work in me, if I try to learn to run for Him only.

Well, I guess the conviction during the camp was because my priority in running was not right. It was not God, but mainly for self. Yes, thats might be it! And through all the waiting and the trust in Him growing, He feels that I am ready for the battle and releases me back into running for a purpose, to glorify Him again! This might be it. Pray that the Lord will reveal it! praise the Lord of my soul and your soul!

On the way home, it was about 830-930, the journey home. I listened closely to all the words of the music and it really touches my hearts as these music are like the exact words that I want to pray to the Lord. And the music has it all exactly right. Sometimes I just have the feeling for the Lord, but I find it very hard to express it. Then these music, which are blessings to me, come in and it may be my prayer to my God.

Reached home and switched on my computer. Surprisingly, I recieved a mail form Sis Dawn. Thanks alot Sis Dawn, you have really been a great encouragement to me. She writes to me and the Lord really used her mail to speak to me. I was to be patiently waiting for answer. I guess reading thru my blog, she was worried that I might just give up hope on the Lord. Not now maybe, last time maybe. Now I feel that I am almost rooted to the Lord and almost nothing, almost, can take me off my feet. But I believe this is the best tiem Satan tries to strike. He nv wants us to draw so near to God, because of this, I am also the most vulnearable now. Sigh, pray for me as I try to brave thru whatever temptation Satan hurls at me. Pray that the Lord will arm me with His shield, armour and sword to be able to fight against the wiles of the devil. Praise the Lord of my soul for being my refuge and my song in the night! A refuge from the devil!

For those who have continued thus far, I congratulate you and thank God for such care and concern u have for me. I am quite touch if you had endured my long "journal". I doubt anybody is able to read all my entries fully. Cause I think I penned my thoughts almost whenever I can. Whenever something happen in my life, I pen it down so that I wouldn't forget and because I hope that it could be of help to anyone reading what I shared. The bible says that there is not tempation nor common to men, that means what I went thru, someone reading this might be going thru this. So hope that reading my entries sometimes wont bore you, however may it be how the Lord wants you to know how to face trials if you happen to be having the same trial as me.

Anyway to Sis Dawn's mail again. She is right. the Lord might have reasons for me to stay in the team, maybe because there are people whom I have to reach out to. Like my God-bro Jeff, Kai Ming, many. They, I believe can be powerful instrumments of GOd if they were to become Christians. Wow! I cant imagine. PRay with me as I find opportunities to preach the Word to them. Pray for my testimonry too, it bears witness also. May my testimony be pleasing and acceptable to God and may I do good works so that man may see and glorify my Father who is in heaven! Praise be to God who always causes us to triumph!

Wow, quite long ah. Pls read thru.. thanks, tc and pls pray for me!