Why no POWER?
Monday, August 2
I've been troubled much by this question. Why is there no power in a christian's life in the present world. Or at least in Singapore. I've read many biographies or many "Men of Faith" like Samuel Morris, Eric Liddell, Brother Yun, etc. The power of God and of the Holy Ghost seems to be showered upon these men of faith. I really am not complaining why there isn't power in our lives. No. But I believe there is something that our life lacks that these men had. Somethings that we wouldn't let go that these men did. A different evnviroment we were living in. Probably too comfortable. We somehow develope less dependance on Him because of the sufficiency in our lives. These might be the reasons for the lack of power in our lives. What stated or written in the bio's dun seem to be happening or seem real. What is the thing that we are different from them that didn't fit us to be used as they were? Why aren't we able to be filled with the Holy Ghost as they were? Why aren't we able to make an impact in lives as they were? Can we be comfortable knowing that we are not seeking God to use us to our limits? Can we be sitting at ease? I can't. I haven't been, for quite sometime after I read the biography of Samuel Morris. I believe its because we aren't ready to give up everything for God, we aren't ready to forsake everything, we are not fully dependant on God for everything. Or rather I am not. So this has been a pressing problem in my mind. Are we really able to complete God's work for us as a pilgrim on this earth if we continue to live comfortably? Do we really need a "wake-up call" from God?
Well, I think something nice is that I've learnt to trust God's faithfulness a lot. I've learnt to have a right view of Him so that I will not be complaining, discontented, doubtful, guilty. Yah, and I believe I am a happier man because of this. I really really thank God it.
Wah, today was quite erm, dunno. Weird. I've failed my first chinese test! 49% Yucks. My hope of being exempted is over! I am not really very sad, neither am I happy. But I just feel weird la. I dun really care about my results wan. BUt what can cause me to care about it is the thought of my testimony to others. Ya lo. I dun mind failing. haha.. really, but my testimony is going to suffer. Sigh, wadeva. Dunnoe why, I was like wadeva-ing the whole day! haha.. Aiya, I didn't do quite alot of homework. CAnt imagine I totally forgot about my two compositionS! Chinese wan somemore. I reached school teo stun. Den I managed to rush out one Formal Letter, "ying yong wen" in two science periods. I took the rest of the day and the periods to rush out the other "Suo ming wen", which inculdes the chinese period. SO I was counted LATE because I handed in after 5 mins when the chinese period ended! And I was told to hand in a parent's letter explaining why I didn't hand up on TIME! Grr.. And the chinese teacher ask me to re-write on a new piece of paper cause the sides were stained with coffee.. I was like super pissed.. I think I wrote about like 2full pages. TO re-write would take probably another 30mins. I was like "wadeva"-ing the whole time. haha.. I like this word man.. I got 49/100 for chinese test. Those who pass correction do 1 time. Those who fail do 10 times! WAd?!?! I was like 1 mark away from doing 1 time for correction. And my friends who got 51 were like "encouraging" me with sacarstic remarks.. I too was wadeva-ing the whole time. Grr.. Argh.. Dun care la..I am like super burden with alot of work but I dun wanna do. Cause I dun mind going to 3P or even getting kicked out of school. haha.. Well, but my testimony will suffer! And I am like singing "On Christ I Stand" throughout the whole day.. wahaha.. Even during lessons. haha.. My friends were like "erm. erm" haha.. I was just singing. When I was like super sian because of the lessons I start singing again. Aiya, today I was like super weird. haha.. Wadeva.. =)
