hmm, how should i start mann? have lots to say hopefully these thoughts are organised so it would sound so messy and complicated huh.. anyways, thanks for visiting yea? kindly leave a tagg to let me now you past by k? hehhs, thanks!

firstly, i want to thank this wonderful God who has shown Himself powerfully to me again. how he has everything in plan for me and how i shouldnt worry at all. i've been wanting to come for the church anniversary for quite sometime. though i've to be restricted at home for the next 2 more months, i was hoping that somehow my dad would make an exception for me to go for the church anniversary. i know the possibility of it was not much. but thankfully, God had my dad leave the country to china to help my uncle. somehow i thought this was God's opportunity to me going, i dunno. so i prayed abt it. it was something i've prayer constantly for. but nevertheless, i would be contented with His will. so this day came, sunday morning. before that either i had no chance to ask my mom, or i didnt dare. so this morning. i woke up early at 7 and did all my necessary housework chores, mopping the floor, etc. then i ate breakfast den sit there and wait, listen to music, pray. until about 845, when the whole house was still quiet and no one was up yet. i was getting abit worried. i didnt dare and couldnt muster up enough courage to ask my mom, because she was still sleeping. so i waited, waited, and waited. i went and hesitated went and hesitated for so many times. until it was 930 when my mom woke up. only when she came out did i manage to ask her about this. so she talk talk talk to me until 945 before she let me and brother go. my sister duwan to go. i dunno why. pls pray for my sister can, hopefully the spirit will convict her and lead her back to Christ. so truly must thank God for all these. i believe He already had it all plan very long time ago. only if i could have more trust in Him, i wouldnt have to wait for so long. praise God!

somehow today was the first sunday service i am going to attend since 4weeks ago. woah! thats long. on the bus i was preparing myself, my heart for the service. but the journey was long, took me one hour to reach. den we were already 45mins late. but late is better den never. anyway we didnt miss alot of the message also. thankfully. the message was abit to the teaching part, and it wasnt exactly impactful to me lah. but even so it was good. cause there were like two person speaking and i found it more of reading script becasuse i believe they have to coordinate so that it will be easier to translate. but i also learn quite alot from it lah. have to reach out more. to people around me. who was the last person you witnessed Jesus Christ to? i had stopped witnessing to people already lor, now i need to start witness. sometimes i have to wonder why are we so selfish? why do we hold on to this good news and refuse to share it with others? if we truly believe that the gospel of Jesus is the truth, why are we not taking it to people who are close to us? instead of holding on to it so tightly. are we ashamed or Jesus? what will our Lord say to us when we meet Him in heaven? will He say well done my good and faithful servant? or will He take away the talents that He has given us, but we hadn't made use of to witness to people? something to think about, what are we using our talents for. ok, back to my point on me not evangelising now. i used to, but now i think i had been so caught up with myself then to do the work of God. hmm, yea have to change le. another lesson i learnt from pastor's message was on fellowship. when we use the term fellowship, it does have its meaning. fellowship of believers are used to encourage, to build up and to edify each other. we should use the term fellowshiping when Christ is not in the picture. often i believe this word is used wrongly. sometimes i would hear people say that "come lah and have fellowship together" or something like that but sometimes its best if we use lets have fun together or something like that. fellowship involves Christ and building up of believers, growing together like the early church. yea, fellowship is important but how are we to fellowship? do we count talking crapping as fellowship? is having fun together called fellowship? maybe, i dunno. but when anything does not include Christ, it isnt fellowship. playing in God's name and glorifying God can be fellowship. but playing a game without God as our focus cannot be called fellowship. am i right to say that? thats what i believe lah.

so after the message was offertory. when david and sis chyiao chyi played the panpipe and flute respectively with sis dawn on the piano. thank God for the music and the playing. it was beautiful. =) den was an item put up by the children, youths and adults called for all of life. really, as i listened to the words it felt so true and so meaningful. how God has protected me for so many years. since i was a baby, a toddler, a small kid, scrawny and short till now, a youth and definitely in the future when i will grow up into a young adult, get married, have children become an adult father or mother then until become grandparents.. hehhs, i really want ot thank the Lord for this gift of life that nothing i did, or can do will ever deserve it.

Jeremiah 1:4-5
A message came to me from the LORD. He said,
Before I formed you in your mother's body I chose you. Before you were born I set you apart to serve me, I appointed you to be a prophet to the nations."

thank God that even before I was born He knows me and has appointed me for something. thank the Lord for protecting me all my childhood days. thank the Lord for childhood dreams (: hehhs. thank the Lord for my primary school days. thank the Lord for leading me to close communion with Him. thank the Lord for a youthful heart and youthful spirit. thank the Lord for interesting days of my youth. thank the Lord for keeping me close to Him and never letting me go. i will thank the Lord in future for providing me a job, thank Him for my wife, thank Him for my children, thank Him for my parents, thank Him for my family. so "much" to thank. infinite. for all of life: thank Him for this gift of life. God didnt just stop there after providing us this gift, He even blessed us richly and prospered us. so how can we not thank Him? after the song ended, i thanked the Lord in my heart for all He has done!

then it was the photo montage of our church. woah the people who did the montage was good lor. =) so nice, so professional. something that struck me at was at the start of the montage. when it describe our 14 founding members were rooted in the word. they will live by the word of God. they will start the church based on the word of God. everything has be based on the word of God. yea. thats why i can confidently say that our church teaches nothing other den the word of God. and i believe all of us have to be grounded and rooted in the word of God. satan attacks us and tries to sway us away, however if we being rooted on His word, grounded in, will be able to stand against all temptation.

Ps119:11
Thy word I have hidden in my heart that I may not sin against you.

so all of us have to study God's word. it is the means of grace, the book which gives us the knowledge of Christ and help us grow to be more like Him. meditate upon it day and night and let it guard and direct your heart.

another line that struck me was the simplicity of the hearts at the time. i believe all who were present in those days were there truly to seek God. they were there purely to spent time and learn more about God. that was how our church came about. i really thank God for these founding members and of course the church goers during those days. how their hearts are as pure as children, going with one sole purpose which is to seek after the Lord. the fellowship were simple and pure, fun-filled but God-filled too. imagine how the Spirit of the Lord worked in these hearts and the church to move so many souls to join the church. from 14 right till now. i thank the Lord for His mighty moving power and hearts as tender as those who truly yearn after God. because of that simplicity, i believe many souls were saved. remember that the people who went to church in those days went with a desire after God. thats what God wants from us. a desire and passion for Him, thirsting after God. well, looking back and seeing those zealous faces who have this zeal for God, it really inspires me. and i really thank the Lord for these people. imagine how 14 zealots can be used so greatly by the Lord to bring such a huge number of people to Christ. think again if our church is now filled with zealots, wow! the book in his steps can be realised here, in Singapore. how a church filled with zealots and pledge to do nothing before asking What Would Jesus Do and following it no matter what the price is. Singapore can be like that city showed in that book if our church pledges and commit ourselves to Christ, and have this zeal for our God. while waiting for that great revival, lets pray for the Holy Spirt to work mightily in our church. hehhs, its possible. everyone has to play a part in this and we will then be able to impact the whole. well, meanwhile lets try our best to reach out to the people beside us as well as impacting them with our testimony and our life. (: ok, other then that the photo montage was good. and nice and beautiful and wonderful and blah blah blah.

den there was lunch, lunch was good. thank God for the food. people talking and having fun. yea thats about it for today. quite nice meeting people after quite sometime of absense. i still have along way to go. *sob* well i will be faithful thru every test! (:

on the way home, something has been bothering me for sometime since the service. it was what will i become when i grow old. or rather what can the Lord use me for? something that i have been thinking. what if i have not been faithful, will i stil turn out fine? if in the middle of this tough pilgrimage am i able to sustain thru everything and become what He wants me to become. what if i fail Him terribly will He still use me? many questions flowing in my mind and i was praying and praying all the way hoping to find comfort and answers. then i listening to my mp3 player what. then this song came and the words fit in perfectly to the situation. press t'ward the mark!

He who began this great work in you
will nurture abd kead as He said He would do.
You have humbled yourself,
to His word have been true,
You've been willing to change,
now what will you do?

Press t'ward the mark. Strain t'ward the goal.
Press onward and forward both body and soul
For the heavenly prize, for the look in His eyes,
and for the crown that will not fade away.
Forget things behind; reach farther ahead;
Oh, follow the Saviour's example instead.
Count all gain as but loss,
and all lose as but gain,
to know Him our glory our all.

Be not ashamed with boldness pursue
The approval of Christ in all that you do.
Proclaim His great Word
Be consumed in His love;
Pursue Him alone until with Him above.

to know Him our glory our all.

even now when i penned it down i also feel how can it be so coincidence that it would play on my mp3 player. the lyrics answered so many of my doubts. even when i flipped open my streams in the desert i saw the verse:

Philipian 1:6
being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

are you even like amazed at the speed God answers prayers and comforts with His word? so i am not confident that God will never leave me nor forsake me. whatever i do wrongly or even fail Him, He will never give up on me. He will make me who He wants me to be and no one can stand in His way. not even satan. i believe i am made for a purpose and the Lord will fulfil my prayer "let my life count for You" in some way or another. meanwhile, as the lyrics of the song and the bible says, press t'ward the mark! count all gain as but loss and all lose as but gain! and however difficult this journey may be i will continue press t'wards the upward call of Christ Jesus keeping in mind that my God will reward me for my faithfulness.

anyway s, i think i will tell ya more about my cip yesterday in my next entry. abit long le. until den, stay tuned! (: