lying still doesnt pay !

i noe ! i noe ! i shouldnt have done it today. anw my purpose of this entry is still to edify, and not to justify anything i have done wrong. yupp. remember the last entry about how lying is an abomination to the Lord and whatever i discourage about lying, it still stays ! God's word shall stand ! yupp, i have to confess that i made a silly mistake which is shouldnt have made. nah, its not to save my "face" or wad. but the most impt thing is that what i discouraged still stands and its firm. its not my standard, its God's standards for us. forigve me if i am not able to live out wad i preached. yah, i noe, its not right. but that is God's command to us, that we should never lie, even to go to church. i'm worried the moment i think of it, that is whether pple would doubt just because i didnt do what i preach. but even though i fail, i will stand and try again and you must not fall at this point too ! you noe, when i discourage ppl not to watch movie before, i was not able to because i had compromised and lived a double standard life. this year, i committed myself not to watch a single movie at the cinemas. well, i made a silly mistake, yes, by compromising and watching "shrek2" yes, it "disqualified" me to stand up strongly against watching movie. like when my christian friends watch, i have nothing to say against them because i, too watched. even though i watched a cartoon, but so what? its still movies at the cinema. however, now i can proudly , confidently firmly discourage any christian brother or sister from the movies because i was able, thru the Lord's grace, resist any form of temptation to the cinemas. i thank the Lord for that. because i am not doing what i discouraged, i am in a better position to discourage. however, this[lying] is a different matter. the Lord has given clear instructions in His book to tell us that lying is sin, an eyesore to Him. so even though i have not managed to live out what i preached, forgive me for that, i need to re-enforce what the Lord says about lying. that it is never the right way. YES remember that. it is not the right option to take. i have really to work on that, to be able to be doeths and not only heareths of the Word. so must i live out what i preach. and wth my testimony, make a firmer stand on this mistake. let me tell you how i got myself into this "pit" and how i was tempted without even realizing. well i was invited to ze gang's house for dinner with ivan, jon, and weihao. they were planning to go for prayer meeting after the meal. i too, was contemplating whether to follow them or go home after the dinner. btw my parents were well-informed about the dinner at zegang's house. but they didn't know the exact time i would be back. so after dinner, i just followed ze gang and gang to church i was thinking of just popping by and maybe stay for the worship part. den siam during the message. but, i was tempted to stay on further. well firstly my dad asked me to call him, i called and he asked where was i, i had to say i was at ze gang's house. yahh, that was the lie i said. sigh. i noe i noe, its bad. but its not the end of the world either. i have a God who is willing to forgive and readers out there who will eventually get the message that lying really really doesnt pay. i was filled with guilt when i walked out of church. even though it was a simple tiniest tiniest lie that i said and it wasnt even like intentionally. and further more my parents were not at home. and blah blah blah the reasons and excuses can go on, but the spirit tugging at my conscience cant ! so i have to say a BIG sorry to anyone offended because of this incident. i am trying my best to kick this stupid habit and do right ! tell the truth ! and pls pls if you are my friend, pls tell me that i should lie if you find out in any way that i did. tell me out do wadeva but just dont let me escape with that lie. whhoo ! thank God i manage to say whatever i wanted to say. but remember at the end of the day, our awesome God is going to judge every single one. so really, take the Lord's heed, dun lie ! =) do right, when theres no one else to stand by you ! do right when you are all alone do right though its never known do right since you love the Lord do right do right !

ok, i have to confess btw that i had not been faithful doing the things i should be doing and my priorities are simply mixed up. and losing focus very easily. i am in a horrible state, at least thats wad i feel. i refuse to pray, even when i had time. i just couldnt start. refuse as in keep on pushing back. but i do pray what i need ta pray. sorry ppl who i promised to pray for you. i didnt for the past few days. but fret not, i think i remember all and prayed for you just and will continue to pray for you. the past few days i had been reading genesis like a story book not much analaysis though. and whenever i read genesis, the creation and everything. my mind begins to think so much and so many doubts starts to taunt me. it was pressurising. i had a hard time managing to reject all those thoughts. but i thank God fer them because i know that God wants me to understand what unbelievers really feel when they hear about the creation and how i refuse those doubts and defend my Lord when the doubt arises in my mind will be the same way i explain to those unbelievers. its training the Lord is putting me through. but thank God for today's prayer meeting. though it seems to dry, i've learnt soooo much about defending the gospel and my God ! anw to go back to where i was. yah, so what ever i did for the last few days was sleep, eat, play(computer game, internet, chatting) all these stuff. i didnt have time to pray though there was time to read genesis. as isobel kuhn said in by searching, when you ate the soda pops and ice cream, theres no more room for potatos and your supposedly main course. this is so true ! when we fill our lives we these things that take up so much time, where is the time for our God? even so, i've prayed hard when i had time to, to change and to keep my focus on the Lord. but to no avail. well, i've just prayed hard with my God and i am still hoping there He will change me and keep my eyes fixed on Him. but what happened today really jolt me outa my slumber and set me thinking more about Him ! thank the Lord for that.

today is good. probably the later day. well the earlier was not so though. i woke up at 11 because i slept late yesterday playing computer. hahas. best. den play comp until i was shocked when i realised it was 2pm becasue i still tot it was morning. haha. den ate lunch and went back to play.. wah.. best.. until about 4plus den left my house for zegang's house. went to my grandad's place to pass something to him and pick my brother up den set off for ze gang's house. reached there late, at about 620. there already started. well i asked them to. then i just joined in. the food prepared by aunty wilnie was good. =) yum yum. and we were laughing and joking and super fun. good time of fellowship. we were like disturbing jonathan because the next time he can taste this food will be 9 more months and we took photos of us eating the food den wanted to sent to jonathan. den when he is eating his bread daily in london he can look at the photo with all the good food and feel so, erm depressed. haha.. super funny. anw thank God for ze gang's mom. she was so enthu lo. we were like looking through the hymnal and ze gang was playing the piano. den she ask us to sing song. wahaha.. den i had a choice, my bro has a choice so did she, jonathan, ivan, weihao all had. then we only had a few singing so i was like singing as loud as i can. haha. thank God for ze gang's mom for being so enthusiastic for the Lord ! there is a line i took notice of a song very meaningful. " and life is worth the living just because He lives ! " amen ! then we travelled down to church for prayer meeting.

ok there were like so few ppl at first. but slowly i think pple start streaming in. hai~ always late lo. best. the song i took notice of was the song, "the master of miracles" the master of miracles is Jesus ! yes He is ! then the last line was He sets us free and break the chains something like that. then i was thinking of my vjc thingy. if He leads me to take up the offer at vjc den what would happen to me? i mean my coach, my team, chinese high what will happen. i need a miracle to get me away from all that ! but this song reminded me that Jesus is indeed the master of all miracles , He creates them ! thank God for that. then the message was dry in a sense when it came to the carbon 12 and 14 part i was like totally blurred. but understood only a lil. but the starting part was like super good. i was thinking how i read through genesis so quickly and didnt analyse it. but pastor could preach half an hour on 4 to 5 verse. haha. best. but what he preached today was totally new to me and refreshing.thank Him for revealing these things to me through His word and making it so real to me. i've really learnt the importance on defending the Word and the Lord when pple come up and say things contrary to the Word. ok, a few things i took notice of. firstly is the evolutionist believed in the big bang theory and how after a billion years of the universe earth was formed out of the big bang. and pastor went on to say, about when Christ comes. well these ppl will look up and see that the sun will stop shinning and the moon will turn red. starts will fall from the skies. haha. then they will see that everything they believe is totally nonsense because there is no such thing as Big Bang. there is only God ! haha. i wonder the look of disbelief on their faces when they see the stars falling and moon turn red. ok, anw something i didnt noe before today was that earth really wasnt a billion years old. i tot it was. i tot the bible agreed with that. oops. i am like totally wrong. secondly and lastly is about the light years one. i used to think with the ppl that stars give out light and one billion years later it travel and reach our eyes. i had no doubts about the universe being abillion years old. neither about the earth. but i soon found out i was wrong. and how the bible refuses it all when God put the stars in the sky and it was mature right away. it didnt have to take a billion years before earth saw the star's rays and light. God made it reach earth right away. and thats because God made the first animals, man, vegetation mature at first too. not from young. ok, after today's sermon i learnt so much about defending the faith through genesis one ! and its only 4 or 5 verses of it can come up with so many points to defend and reject so many religions. imagine the whole bible ! and i must do a research on this. i must learn to defend my faith. and i will, through the Lord's grace. yarlo, so thank God for the lesson learnt too. now you see the importance of learning how to defend your faith when you are called to !

anw, i just realised all of my entries are like super long. haha duh. i'm a lit student leh. or rather a humanities student. haha but hope u enjoy reading lo. some ppl might just be too sian to read because of its length.

owell, till next time ! =)