one down three more to go !

yea, thats right. english paper's over today. yipee. well i didnt even like study for it lor. i mean how do you study for english. it feel it really depends on the amount you read, and how often you actually write. as for me, my christian books, bible will be sufficient for my range of vocabulary to be increased to a certain extend lah, cause i really dont enjoy other books. and well, blogging helps me alot in my writing. cause i like so frequently practice it here! so i think i did well. i was prepared to go into the examination room depending on the LORD's wisdom. as english was not a subject that i could study, the only thing i could do was to trust God and depend on Him for really everything. but dunno why, today woke up feeling tensed and nervous. its weird. i wont feel any stress, worry for exams ever since psle. i never did. but this time it was really different. i guess it is because the pressure and high expectation put on me by myself and others. many things depend on this exams you know. my scholarship, selection of special programme, even YOUTH CAMP. it was the first time i had pressure for my exams. and it was weird. thankfully, thankfully God provided me with a very powerful devotional passage today. "Do not be anxious for anything.." yes, it is a well known verse in the bible, taken from phil 4:6. but something that comforted my right at that moment, and gave me peace was that it said, "What good has worrying ever accomplished? IT has never made anyone stronger, helped anyone do God's will, or provied for anyone a way of escape out of their anxiety and confusionC. Worry on destroys the effectiveness of lives that would otherwise be useful and beautiful..... Can anything be gained by worrying. Don't we only make ourselves unfit action, and separate our minds from the ability to make wise decision? "

it felt as if that devotional was just written for me. i was thinking. why worry? what can worry really do? can it help me become wiser? or will it stumble myself from being used by God? will it be preventing my service for God jusy by worrying? as i prayed, i truly felt peace in my heart and God took away all fear that i had in me. really thank God for this. was greeted in class by a christian friend, ernest. he asked me to pray together with some christians in class. well, i thank God for these people who have a pure and true heart for God, who truly love the LORD. but someone was really amusing and hilarious in a sense. wahaha, come to think of it. he started praying, "Dear Lord, I pray that you will give us straight A's for our exams. Give us A for today's english paper." something like that. wahaha i was about to burst into laughter as he was still praying. i mean, for me i know that God never answers such prayer. we all know that it is a selfish prayer. at least we say something that we want to glorify His name. but he simply ask God for straight A's. well, but i guess his intention was good. he justified by saying, "can what. ask whatever you want right?" i was like, "urm, but dont you think u missed out the other part. the part about asking in God's will and it will be given to you? not you sinful, selfish, fleshy desires? God will of course not answer it!" but i didnt say it. haha. i just left feeling, amused. :)

this is a very tricky thing. "ask whatever you want in My name and it will be give to you" well honestly i am not exactly sure to what extend will our prayer be answered. but if we limit the things that God will answer, i guess we are "magnifying His strictness with a zeal" but if we ask, and think that if we ask for A's we can get them, ask for money we can get them, ask for fame we can get them. then we are utterly wrong. mature christians will understand that God only answers prayers that is in His will. and the tricky thing is how do we know if we are asking in His will? basically, we can just pour out our heart's desire to the LORD. God does not limit what we can say to Him. if we constanly fear saying something not in His will, we simply arent pouring our heart out to the Lord. leave nothing behind. but at the same time, we must acknowledge and know that if we ask a selfish prayer, God just might not answer us. however sometimes, He answers some to gain back our trust but don't count on these selfish prayers. i believe, and has always concluded my prayer with what Jesus said, "not my will but thine be done". i think it should be the same for us. no matter how desperately we want the thing we are asking, ask with faith but knowing also that God will not be wrong, God is wiser than us and proverbs 3:5 says trust in the Lord with all you heart and lean not on your own understanding. remember not to lean on your own understanding. sometime when God says no, it is best for us. and note that if we are walking faithfully, and closely with the Lord, we can ask whatever we want and we can be confident that it will be the Lord's will because of our close walk with the Lord. so do not fear of pouring out your desires to God, but at the same time, remember that when God don't answer the way you want it to, it might just be that your request is not in His will and learn to trust God on that. remember, lean not on your own understanding!

haha so now finish one sub le. next up is math on monday chinese paper 1 on monday. tues got science. and friday chinese paeper 2. argh. 2 of my weak subjects. maths and science. pray for me yea? ciao~

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