I can't seem to study now, so I decided to take some time out to pen some things down. After all, its quite a while seems I last blogged. Ha. This blog is not dead yet.. (: I shall relate more about my life now, and what it is to come.

I really really think God has been ever faithful, and good. Great indeed is His faithfulness. W/o Him, I could never have survived all the stresses and struggles I face in school. School has been relatively normal. Normal, as in as stressful, as busy and as tiring as it used to be. Ha. But, I think I'm learning to not worry so much. But rather leave and rest in God. Do cont to kp me in your prayers!

Something struck me as I was reading through the book, "Imitations of Christ". Consider this verse, "Righteous art Thou, O Lord, and upright are Thy judgements." (Ps119:137) Indeed, God is righteous and so are His judgements! Who are we to doubt and question His will? "O Lord, Thou art my King. And who am I to question Thy will? " God, who is righteous, knoweth the way. We, who are evil and unrighteous should not ever lean on our own understanding and question the Will of our Lord. As the book mentioned, God's judgements are to be FEARED and not to be discussed. Ever feel that you are bearing burden that only you bear? Ever feel that life is so unfair, when we do not get something, whereelse others recieve it so freely? I often feel this way. But I always remind myself, when it comes to this thought, "Why life is so unfair?", that Christ my Savior was not treated fairly. If there was one person who was most wronged, it must be Him! Anw back to my pt. Who are we to judge God's judgements. If God has decided that we do not get something, or we bear a heavy burden, then He knoweth best for us! A thought really to ponder about. Do not, ever, question God's judgements in our lives.

There were many things that I had been really thinking about. And I've really been praying for wisdom and discernment. Something we should really ask Go d to search us and convict us. I feel that we are all prone to make this mistake. I so often am. Does our love and affections rest in God alone? Or is it shared with many other things, not only worldly things, but also even people! What may seem to be nothing wrong, like loving a brother of a sister in Christ, may end up with serious consequences, if we are not aware where does this love come from. Love is from God. God is love. Hence, love, can only rest in God and Him alone. For there is none like Him! For Him, and in Him, must we learn to love our friends, our families and even our enemy. I feel that we must always remember that love for others, have to flow from God. And because of us, let our friends and our foes know and love God. Consider this passage:

Love all for Jesus, but Jesus for Himself. Jesus Christ alone is singularly to be beloved. He alone is found good and faithful about all friends. For Him, and in Him, let both friends and foes be dear unto you. And all these are to be prayed for, that He would make them all to know and love Him.

It was this passage that made me think. To search, and to examine myself. Where have I placed my love in? Where have I built my trust and hope on? The Solid Rock? I'm so prone to feel dependant on people. Instead, I realised that the only person who is so faithful and perfect, who deserves our dependance, our trust, our hope and our love is Christ. He is the most faithful Friend! I feel that we have to start to think, and purge everything that may hinder us from taking a step foward. Just consider if that thing, or person was to be taken away from us, would we be still loving as much as we are loving Him? Or would our walk with Him be affected? Consider whether words from a person, actions taken by them, are the reason for our change of moods and our "spiritual walk". These are things that I would just ask myself. And I really am praying for wisdom and discernment. To what extend should r/s with others develope into. Or rather, how much more should we love God, so that our love for others, when compared to Him, is of hatred?

Now back to school.

There is this research paper that I am suppose to do. It takes up 50% of the year's result for Intergrated Humanities, which is a representation of our exams. Its a humanities research paper, which is to be done throughout the year. The topic this year is: Challenges. And can either be slanted towards Hist, Lit, or Geog. Well, I've decided to do something real special. But I dunno how the school will take it. I want to do on the challenges that the early church faced. I dunno whether this can be done. Because its like, toward Christianity. But hopefully, it may be considered History and applicable to the topic, Challenges. Something that really can interest me, and also I would put alot of effort in to do. And learn alot from it too! If God wills I hope that the school will approve of it. Then I will really be counting on the Spirit's leading for the research paper. Interesting eh?

Well. I will be going to China for 2 months this year! Wow! Its like end of the year. Its for the Bicultural Programme immersion activity. We are suppose to stay over there, and study and do research for 2 months! I have a strong feeling that it would definitely clash with camps. Both of them. I dunno. I really have mixed feelings about this. On one hand, its really a interesting trip, an eye-opener for me. (If ever I go over there for missions. :)) And I am quite looking foward to it! However, I really dun wanna miss camp! But if I were to request for early return, my dad probably wont approve of it. Sigh. Nonetheless, let tomorrow worry for itself. There is already enough problems for today. Hehhs. But something I look forward to. Are the tender hearts that had never been exposed to the gospel of peace- Jesus Christ! I am sooo looking forward to my ministry over there. How I can really make good friends, and really talk to them about Jesus Christ, my Savior. Oh the bliss of saving souls over there! ((: I think let God decide. And we'll see what our perfect God wills.

After CNY I going to stay in boarding schoool! Ahhh. For one month. To be honest, I dread that place. Its realy quite horrible. But considering the amount of freedom I will recieve. It can be counted a blessing, in disguise. From 14 Feb to 14 March. Sundays to thursdays curfew starts at 8pm. And on Fri and Sat curfew is at 10.30. If God wills, I may be able to come for two youth meetings, and even prayer meeting! We'll see about that too.

I think I need to end here. Need to return to my homework! Take care everyone. Really, dun lose focus and be too consumed back in the world, and even our work. Remember, that our buisness is to preach the Word of God! Con't steadfastly in our Lord, seek and grow! And may we truly, youths, shining brightly for our Savior! :)