O for grace to trust Him more

Time for updates! I've been away for quite sometime. And its not that I'm no longer busy and can find time to blog just that I can drop by for awhile for a short sharing. (:

How the Lunar New Year holidays came and past so quickly. Well, I've enjoyed the good break and rest, but definitely not enough. I'm glad to see my relatives, cousins once again, had fun and enjoyed their presence. The food has been the "temptation" of the season, haha but its the only time of the year I am willing to eat all the junk! The pineapple tarts, chrysantanum drinks, pork floss, etc. Moreover I was treated with an overdose of fast food, with Mac donalds on the first day and KFC on the third! I feel so unhealthy, goodness. And I think due to my unhealthy diet the past few days I fell sick quite badly- flu and headache. Anyway the hongbaos have been rewarding, (: only that I may have wisdom to use the money wisely. But I must say it has been relaxing yet I feel the break is SOO super short. After 4 weeks of school, the few days of break whizzed past me and I'm back to school once again.

I feel apprehensive and anxious each time I head back into my daily packed routines and schedule. It has made me doubt many a times why I'm doing what I'm doing and whether it is possible to forsake it all for a free-er and more "satisfying" lifestlye. I know it would be a complete waste of time if I have been doing things that the Lord has not purposed for me. But can I not give my best to somethings that the Lord has called me into? I only ask for grace to be faithful in all that I am to do. I dare not say that I am not longer busy, tired, stressed, because I truly am. As long as I dwell any longer in this worn body of death I can escape not from them. And really I believe if you want a picture of what my life is now, I can go on in the next few paragraphs with my worries, burdens and sorrows. I havent been a very happy man, I confess. Calling me a man of sorrow would be appropiate. Such trying moments I am going through, though not close to the point of cursing the day I was born as Job did, but really lost and confused about whats happening. I certainly can go on, and it would be the most appropiate picture my words could paint about myself. Nonetheless I still question myself, can a Christian not posses the joy of Jesus? Is he not one who the Bible claims, "Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!"? Should I be discontented, complaining, ungrateful and thankful?

By the light of His Spirit I was convinced that I have walloped myself in all my burdens, my sorrows and my griefs. I bear each and every weight and burden on my shoulders, trusting and hoping that my strength will pull my through. I look upon my failures and infirmities, and despair of myself. I've worn myself out and exhausted my very own resources. I am convinced, however, by His Spirit, that He is my Springs of Living Water, the One whom I can drink from and never thirst, the One whom I feast on and never hunger. He calls gently, "Come unto me, all ye who are weary and heavy laden". I must learn, through Him, to look beyond all these troubles and unto the High Way, onto Christ my Guide. I've been so lost in myself I fail to see and understand that the more deficient I am, the more sufficient He is, that the weaker I am, the stronger He is, that the more tried I am the more refined I would be. May God teach us each day, as our resources are exhausted, as our burderns prove too heavy, as we grow so very weary, and as we loss our grip on everything that we held to, to trust Him, to depend on Him, to cling to Him and, "TRUST FALL" on Jesus.

Jesus Jesus how I've trust Him
How I've proved Him o'er and o'er
Jesus Jesus precious Jesus
O for grace to trust Him more!

May we continue to prove our Savior true over and over again! (: