Well well well. Today's the last day holidays. It has really been a pretty meaningful holidays, but as much as so, I also bear a tinge of regret of not doing enough or spending time as wisely as I ought. God has been great and wonderful in blessing me with a spiritually refreshing and refocusing time of rest. Im thankful for that because thats what I need before plunging back to school once again.

I always have this feeling of discomfort, anxiety and guilt the few days before school reopens. And its what really makes me dread the returning to school. It aint surprising I get this feeling because Im sure many of us do. I have not been the most dilligent of students and confess I have not done the work that I am supposed to do[some]. This has given me lots of pressure the past few days as I pondered over the amount of effort I have to put in for the next semester. Its kinda daunting returning to be the "studious" me after slacking and relaxing for one full month! But as I thought through on my way home from church this afternoon, it suddenly struck me. Didnt the God of hope promise peace and joy, [Romans 15:13] whatever my circumstances may be? Why this unrest and tumult within me? "But thats different what, it may have been my sin of laziness which caused me to be in this state?" Heh then it struck me why I had to hold back sin which I confessed to the Lord and repented of and fail to recieve His promised peace? Is the Lord willing that we remain in the state of anxiety? I guess not. Well, I asked the Lord for forgiveness for doing the work that I needed to do and asked for Him to fulfill His promise of joy and peace. It was quite an experience as my cares really literally rolled away and peace filled within. Praise the Lord for peace that surpasses all understanding!

Then of course as Christians there is the element of fear of backsliding as we return to 24 hours 5 days a week, 10 weeks a term, 2 terms a semester of school. What happened to me the previous semester I definitely hope not to happen again. Thus I really hope the Lord would keep my focus on Him each day! Things will definitely get busier the next semester with my end of years and assignments deadlines to meet. I would heave a sigh of relief as my nationals end by 19 july. I would have much more time to concentrate on my studies, and hopefully, God-willing- ministry in church. Nonetheless, with so much work at hand, Im afraid so much time is gonna be consumed in school. May I never cease to seek the Lord in my business and may He keep me through every moment and every day of my life. The feeling of backsliding just isnt nice. haha, obviously. But when I look back at the things I do when I am in a state of sin, I kinda feel disgusted and feel disappointed. But I guess its a severe reminder of the state of man- the helplessness and sinfulness of our flesh- and our great dependance on God. Keep me in prayer, keep each other in prayer. Keep one another accountable and in fellowship. Oh youths, remember 1 Timothy 4:12! Let no one despise the youths, but let us be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith and in purity. May we not fall and give in easily to the temptations of the world and the wiles of the devil. Let our light so shine before men that they may see our good works and glorify our Father in heaven! Let us help our friends to remember their Creator in the days of their youth! Let us continue to grow in the grace and knowledge of our Savior Jesus Christ! Whatever state we may be in, let us commit to growth and faithfulness to the Lord and press on in this Christian race!

Sunday school. I like it more actually when we discuss and look into God's word for answers that are so applicable to our lives! Todays sunday school discussion was on whether: a Christian can be COOL and CLOSE to the Lord simultaneously? It has been an issue I've been struggling with. Finally, it has been put down to words so.. clearly. I've always thought it could be possible. In fact I've lived the past 3 to 4 months or even most of my christian life as a secondary school boy thinking that it was a possible thing! But thinking about it, its not as if I have two seperate identities before church and my school friends. Its not an issue about a double-life. But rather, its an issue about whether the desire to find an identity can coexist with a desire to find God!!! Daniel shares from God's word plainly that God says we cant have both worlds. To be honest, I asked myself is it explicitly stated in His Word so quite a few times. But then when I try to seek an identity- an identity that is found in the world! - am I accountable to what God's word says. When He said set your heart on things about and not things of the earth. When He said do not love the world nor the things of the world. When He said I must be willing to forsake my all. I guess not. At first when Daniel shared from Philipians 3, I fail to understand the link. But when I thought about it and studied a little back home, I realised.. that Paul disregarded the righteousness [coolness] which is from the law [world] (because during his time, it was COOL to be holy and righteous! haha) , and found his identity in the person of Jesus Christ, and faith in God!! Can I make my boast in Jesus Christ alone? Will I be willing to let the world know that "Jesus is all the world to me"? Paul's ultimate goal and aim was- that [he] may know HIM! That ought to be my goal and priority in life too! I guess in essence it really is, for me to live is Christ and nothing more. That my whole life will be so consumed with Christ that nothing else matters anymore. Impossible? Not a reality? Maybe not. God promised, "I have been crucified with Christ, it is no longer I who live but Christ lives in me!"

Heh anyways school's really tmr! Guess have to do so preparations alr. Ciao! (: