Track and Field

Ahh.. What a week I have been through.

Though I havent been to school for the past week, I've been stressed like mad for the pass few days even though everything was rather slow-paced. I had the luxury of waking up late each morning. It was almost like a week of holidays. Haha. There were only two races this week, but my whole week has been literally been consumed by them. Somehow I felt I was rather paranoid. About falling ill, about injuries, about not being able to perform. There are times when I become to lost and consumed with anxiety that everything else becomes so numb. It really has been a trying week, physically and spiritually. Physically because the races really wore me out. Spiritually, because I really needed to trust and wait on the Lord. I see and realise how faith-less I really have been and how I doubt even the very truths God places before me. Nonethless, the grace of God allows me to cast all my cares upon Him and He fills my heart with His peace and joy. Thank the Lord for keeping me, and guiding me faithfully this past week!

I've been to the National library to do some research for my research paper on the topic of Rise of Christianity in China. The national library is a rather nice place to study la, can just sit there the whole day actually. Anyway as I browsed through the reading materials, really learnt much I've never knew before about the christian faith in China. Almost felt a little burdened for the work there. Haha, it wasnt a strong thug on my heart though.

Well. How did my races go? Monday was the 3000m finals. I supposedly thought I would do better in this event then my 1500m. I didnt do very badly but I didnt do up to my own expectations either. Sometimes I just feel I could have done better if circumstances did occur the way they did. But I must learn to be contented and thank the Lord for His will. I managed to do the same timing I did for my heats and clinched a 7th position. It was rather humbling and it really made me feel that in the end, the result itself doesnt really matter to God. Something that struck me while listening to the song, He Knoweth the Way:

Whatever the lost, whatever the cost
Draw me closer to Thee everyday.

I've also been thinking about the song, I'd Rather Have Jesus. Can I sing that with conviction? The world, I confess is tempting. The same questions pops out constantly in my mind, which I havent settled with the Lord, "Whom do I wanna be 'found in'?" In Christ? Or in the world? I hope I will be able to say, finally, "All to Jesus I surrender. All to Him, I freely give. I will ever love and trust Him, in His presence daily live. I surrender all. I surrender all. All to Thee my blessed Savior, I surrender all."

Today was my 1500m heats. Thank the Lord I qualified. However, pride and ambition kinda overwhelmed me after the race as I really hoped and sought to do well for the finals next week. Its not that hoping to do well is wrong, but doing well for myself, is definitely wrong. Well, the struggles I face each race I run.. to keep my focus on the Lord! Somehow I wonder how Eric Liddell could remain humble and left all to the Lord even at the Olympics? Oh, that I had more faith to trust.

Of course, my season is ending in exactly 6 days! I was rather relieved and happy that it was my running career could possibly come to a close finally, after 4 long years! However, one part of me believes and feels that I could invest my time to train really hard and do well for Cross next year. Another part of me badly desires to have time to spend and hopefully, serve in Church. Teach me Thy Ways O Lord! I pray and ask that the Lord would show me clearly His way, because unless I walk in His way, I cannot have His blessings. Furthermore, there is still so much work that could be done with my team mates! There is much work to be done in church too! Not my will, but Thine Lord..

National Schools Track and Field finals is on 19 July, 3pm at Choachukang Stadium. Im running 1500m on that day. Do drop by if you are willing and free! (: