Haha, yes yes, I'm finally alive! :D



So this is my class: 07s76 ! Haha.



And a treat from my angel again! (:



And my treat to my mortal! :D Haha, lols.

Okay, photos aside.. (cos I see Sisjo and Siscc blog always got nice photos one, so must try to add some also. Haa..) So.. now to the meat of this entry (:

Haha, time's like flying pass everyone of us. Its already the fifth week of the term le! Haha, cant believe it man. Yet when I look back at the weeks that flew by, I can only feel remorseful and regretful. Even the more as I thought back on how purposeful I was at the beginning of this year. What has gone by, has really been a testing of my faith, without me being fully conscious of it. The Bible says, "forgetting the things behind, looking towards the things that are ahead" and so I must. I can only share that the world and self has its great appeal, and giving in to it has left me feeling tremendously guilty, unworthy and spiritually drained. I couldn't find the motivation to do anything but go through the motions in school. And perhaps, the "comfort" that school has brought to me played a part in this temptation. Yet throughout this period of time, I had had no peace, no joy, no rest. Despite my faithlessness, my prayerless-ness, "Wordless-ness", by His grace He reminded me once again that life is not for self, but for the Lord.

For the love of Christ compels us, because we judge thus: that if One died for all, then all died; and He died for all, that those who live should live no longer for themselves, but for Him who died for them and rose again. - 2 Corinthians 5:13-15

It struck me during sunday school class that the lesson God teaches us through Job is not the suffering in Job's life, rather is that life is FOR God. Job was put through all these to show God's glory and fulfill His purpose. Yet "ironically" James 5:17 tells us that Job testified that the Lord was merciful and full of compassion. Heh, I couldnt reconcil such a thought with the context of Job, not until I realised that it is only out of God's graciousness, faithfulness and generosity that He returned to Job two-fold of what he had before. So.. perhaps our life's contentment is to live to do the will of God, and whatever good things that come our way is a blessing from a gracious Father (James 1:17)

Thankfully this weekend brought back to mind a lesson that struck me about three years back during June camp- it was a lesson that perhaps started my earnest seeking of God and changed me completely. Remember Isaiah 6, Isaiah was awestruck when He saw the glory of God and henceforth, his life was changed because he saw the glory of the Lord. I finally understood the root of my problem- I had a pretty low view of God, much of it based on my circumstances and the apparent "reality of life" I am going through. But to have a right view of God will have to mean seeing the "glory of God" through His word ! not based on our own circumstances. And as Daniel shared, it really has to mean a withdrawal from the crowd and sit by the feet of our Lord. Think this has been sorely lacking in my life, hence my low view of God, and thus a poor understanding of my circumstances and leading to the yielding to temptation. Ah.. if only we see the Lord in His glory! Then we would cry "woe is me, for I am a man undone!" And our lives.. yielded to a loving, powerful, gracious, wonderful God. Heh, so much talking done. Meant every word I said. But remember James 2 which says he who is only a hearer of the word, looks into the mirror observes himself, goes away and immediately forgets what kind of man he is. But he who looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed in what he does! That I may hide His words in my hide, that I may not sin against Him.

Pray for me, I need God to illumine me and lift me from living with a shortsighted attitude, but truly to be able to sit with Christ in the heavenlies, to comprehend and see things through His eyes. And have a rekindled passionate love for God, His work and His people.

Jus so strange that recently there has been so much "Christian movements" in my school, and being a christian apparently becomes kinda a "in" thing in school. One wouldnt feel shameful to say he/she is a christian. Well, Im not being a wet blanket to these movements or being judgemental about it. But.. firstly, I feel it comes at sucha difficult time, becos personally I've been going thru struggles and feel inadequate to involve myself in them. and secondly, I have been surrounded by many charasmatic christians to the point of being confused of what to do. Sometimes I jus hope to have like-minded Christians around. I do not dare judge them becos I know I am not fit to do so. But these Christian movements, namely a group led by Youth for Christ which meets every tues and thurs morn for short sharing and prayer before school, and also a group in my class of 6-7 christians who come together on monday afternoons to pray, share and sing, involve.. quite a fair bit of controversial areas. I have a guy who shared during the morning meetings about going to a bible conference and having a pastor prophesizing that he who lead a group of youths in the near future and hence he stands before us sharing. And the Garrage- a cconcert outreach which invites non-christians to a band concert to reach out to them. It is such things that kinda sets me backk abit. Moreover, we jus had our first meeting with my class christians today. and all of them worship with contemporary christian music. So apparently they were all singing today songs that are so familiar to them but so unfamiliar to me. I felt a little uncomfortable actually. I cannot deny that it encourages me to meet with christians in school, who have a heart to reach out to our schoolmates- a resounding theme through the meets. But im really confused as to whether I should participate in something like this. I dun wanto appear judgemental. After all, I feel that as part of the body of Christ, we should put aside our differences to labour for the minstry of the gospel. Yet, something keeps me from fully committing to these two meets. Ah, lots of discernment I need to know what pleases Him. Now its really a test of my convictions- giving a defense for those who ask for a reason for the hope that is within you, with meekness and fear. To people who see nothing wrong with pop-music and christian contemp music, to people who have no objections to dancing to rock and pop music, yet.. to the people who sincerely have a heart for the Lord and His work. Should I hold on to my convictions quietly, or should I try imposing them upon others, esp when we clearly noe that God demands a holy, God-fearing, reverand lifestyle before.. "sacrifice". So much for the christian movements in school which I am thankful for, reminding me at least that there are people in school around me who still know and love God.

To be honest, I feel.. unworthy and unprepared. A state I feel I am in, because of the humbling of my pride before the Lord. But.. I pray to be filled with His Spirit, to be empowered to do His will through His strength, even though in my flesh is weakness. There's soooo much to do both in and out of school. But I know much preparation has to be done at home. Yet pray for discipline to labour in prayer.

Heh, my class is really a nice bunch of people. Jus that I havent invested enough time to get to know them personally. They are quiet, nice, obedient and peaceful people la. There's so much talk about class bonding. I know I can be with them when I need to, but I jus need discipline like the Lord Jesus to withdraw from the crwd to spend time w Him when its sorely lacking.

KK, shall end here. Thats a short update of my life for the past few weeks. :)