Haha, im back. Again. I shall try to revive my blog. Hmm.

Think my current situation now can be summed up with a song, called Lord, Life Becomes More Simple.

Lord life becomes more simple when all I seek is you
When walking in Your spirit, is all that I pursue
When knowing you are with me, is all the light I need
When all my heart is hungry for you to shape and knead

Lord life is filled with beauty when I am filled with You
When you so kind and patient have made me caring too
When I am free to love You and look to You alone
Then life has found its sunlight and hope has found its morn

Lord Jesus, Son of Heaven, its Temple and its Light
Life's golden... Love's length and depth and height
Lord teach my heart to listen and rest in simple truth
To know life's sweetest pleasure, to know and worship You.

I've found life sweetest pleasure: to know and worship You.

Think its an apt song to sing and meditate upon for me. Cos I feel I've been so caught up by the many things around me that what use to stir my heart no longer does. So cold and lukewarm I have been towards Him, so distracted and so unfocused. In fact I have almost no desire to return to Him, cos I feel comfortable where I am. Irony, cos my conscience perhaps have been numbed by my constant disobedience. And compromise, my life's full of it i guess. Honestly, I know I am in a miry pit and just waiting for the Lord to come and lift me up! shed some light upon my blinded eyes and give me new sight, revive my heart and refresh my downtrodden spirit. Ahh. I shoundnt be ranting. Haha, but I know He will hear and save me. He always does. Cos He remains faithful, even tho I am faithless!

On second thoughts, the Lord has been really kind and good to me, despite my disobedience. Thank God I can go for june camp. Even tho, honestly speaking, I am not all too excited about it. Well, the irony is that even tho I am less enthusiastic about it, my dad gave me permission so willingly. Ah well. Uh, thank God for friendships both in church and in school. Some have been really sweet and nice. But thats not the point i guess. Hmm, maybe i should learn to appreciate all that He has given me, and praise and worship Him for His rich grace and mercy.

Then again, in my "desolate" state, or so I shall call it. I feel so incapable to serve Him and do His will. And so often I realise I offend people and lose many opportunities. I apologise for that and can only implore for prayers.

On a lighter note, I've quit cross/track, so I know I'll hve a great amount of time to and for myself, and well yes, for the Lord. So hopefully I'll manage my time well. Not a easy decision to come to, esp when its really quite a nice feeling being arnd with the team. But still, if this is what God has led me to do, i shall be contented. So more time for service and ministry. Pragmatically, more time to take up something new and interesting and, jus time to move on I guess.

Physically I've been okay. Emotionally rather mixed tho. Esp when it comes to matter about boy girl relationships. Looking arnd me there are like so many people in it that it apparently seems to be the norm. Moreover youthful passions and desires being fueled each day. I think I shant rush into things but then I am hopeful the Lord be willing to permit me in this area. At times feel such an impulse to just let go and allow my emotions to run wild. But my reserved personality (and yes, the grace of God) as done well in keeping me in check, so that I be more careful and cautious when I trod upon such sensitive grounds. Esp when a wrong move would mean awkwardness and losing friendships. Ah well, the so called complexity of lives. When all I need to do is to turn my eyes upon His face. But I should say its a difficult thing to do- to jus trust.

Ah, thats quite a long post already. (: Hope that is a rather summarised update of my life for those whom I have not had the opportunity or time to relate to. :D