This weekend has been rather spiritually refreshng. God jolted me out of my spiritual slumber once again. I wouldnt say the past week has been badly spent nor well spent. Guess there were ups and downs. Times when I learnt to trust God and times when I chose to go my own way. But it was a week of reflection, thought and uh, confession (to God, and to men! haha.)

I guess I was really rather impulsive and impatient, especially when I realise both are willing parties. But I AM thankful that in spite of my disappointment, God gave me a "no" for an answer. It reminded me that I was totally unprepared for it and also, reminded me that the ONLY person I oughto desire to know better is the Lord my God. If it was a "yes", I wouldnt be here praising and giving glory to God now. God is faithful- "delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desire of your heart. Commit thy ways unto the Lord, trust also in Him and He shall bring them to pass" -Ps 37:4-5 It has been a meditation of my heart the pass few days. And I hope when temptations come, I would stand firmly on sucha wonderful promise from God. (: For those who don't noe what I'm talking abt, just take it as me praising Him for a great lesson taught and learnt.

"Your will cannot lead my where Your grace will not keep me" - Thank you Lord.

Saturday youth meeting was rather nice. Tho i felt a little dejected throughout the meeting, think it was nice just being arnd christian friends, something the world out there can never give- I've come to realise. There wasnt a need to pretend or act, and it jus feels comfortable being myself. Perhaps there want anyone arnd to judge you too. Well, i got scolded for not taking part actively in the guys ministry. Perhaps it was a mistake to just sit arnd and chat but i know i have been trying at least. Heh, to be honest what went through my mind yest was that i feel my life has been so messed up i dun even noe if i am fit and ready to start ministering. But then i feel if God be willing i must really start to stand up for the Lord and be a faithful soldier for Him, esp with such pressing needs in the ministry. Furthermore, when Dr Innes talked abt the growing worrying trend of Christianity in America, (as i believe in Singapore too) i cant help but think of how the Church noe indeed belongs to the lukewarm church that Chrsit in revelations predicted. And being so wonderfully blessed with a Bible-believing, fundemental Baptist church, I feel that if we do not STAND UP for God, who will?

A passage of scipture that encouraged me was from Romans 13, shared by Uncle Kangfung

The night is far spent, the day is at hand. Therefore let us cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armour of light. Let us walk properly, as in the day, not in revelry and drunkenness, not in lewdness and lust, not in strife and envy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ and make no provision for the flesh to fulfill its lust.

Today we had Dr Peter Maruyama and Dr David Innes to share God's word with us. Was encouraged by the testimony of Dr Peter Maruyama, esp when he shared on how fundemental christians in japan are the minority and how they had to fight day and night for the Lord. Then i was thinking of how we have really taken for granted all that we have in Singapore or rather in BFC. Perhaps we are the light and beacon God would chose to you in Singapore, as Bro Maruyama's church is, in Japan. Somehow I agree with Dr Innes, I feel I am really so blessed by God to be in a church who has preached to me nothing else but God's word and kept me in the truth since my youth. I am thankful i never had to struggle with the fact of whether to practice fundementalism or non-fundementalism. Because my heart was convicted that it was the way for me ever since I learnt abt it. Anw my take home lesson was went Dr Innes shared his personal testimony and encouraged us to seek to know God above anything or anyone else. I looked back upon my past and saw how I earnestly I sought the Lord before and He faithfully fulfilled what He promise - I found Him. "Remember thy creator in the days of thy youth... before the time comes.. when thou said 'I have no pleasure in them'" So true are the words of the Wise man. I think the more I am exposed to the world, the more numb I become to it, unless I consciously make a stand to remain separated. And the more I allow the world to seep into my life, the less desire I have to SEEK God. I was convicted and decided that I was gonna stop trying to get to know PEOPLE arnd me, but start getting to know who my God really is. And I am gonna trust and hope that by seeking Him, my soul would be satisfied wholly and thoroughly, and He will "feed me till I want no more"!

Haha, enough of talking. Time to be like the wise man who hears the words of the Lord, and does them. And may I truly build my house upon the solid foundation of the Word of God, nothing else.