Fountains of Living Water

On a more sober note, I thank God for being merciful to me.

Perhaps my lifestyle, my behaviour, my thoughts and my actions could have provoked the kindness, most gracious father to wrath and judgement. But He is Lord, abundant in mercy, slow to wrath, ready to forgive.

The reasons I have not been able to seek repentance the moment I am convicted of my sin, is firstly, the feeling of unworthiness before the Holy God. But this doubt is removed swiftly when God sheds light upon Isa 55, "let the wicked forsake his ways and the unrighteous man his thougths, and to our God who will abundantly pardon". The second reason is my failure to trust that His way is perfect? And because of that I would rather go astray in my own desires, then to submit to Him. It has been a roller coaster ride, or I mean a viscious cycle. Cos my failure to turn my eyes upon Jesus leaves me unsatisfied with seeking Him in word or prayer, and because of that straying even further. So its only by Gods grace that I see repentance and forgiveness now, and God's merciful hand lifting me out of the miry pit and sinking sand.

I think it has been building up. The world just cant satisfy like Christ does. In fact, nothing can satisfy like Christ does. Thats what I've learnt before and thats what I learn again and thats what I will continue to learn- depedance on God. (Its difficult to understand how people can misunderstand and think that my past learnings have been just a mere show. There is no incentive for me to blog abt it apart from the fact that I should testify of God's grace. Let my glory be in the cross and not of self. ) Anyway, somehow as we learnt today during sunday school, about the natural man being blind to truth? I think its really true because when I was in a wrong, truths just fly past me and they hardly leave an impression in my heart. But when God illumines my eyes, truth after truth, they just keep piercing into my heart like a double-edged sword.

For my people have committed two evil; They have forsaken Me, the fountain of living waters, and hewn themselves cisterns- broken cisterns that can hold no water.

Have you not brought this on yourself, in that you have forsaken the LORD your God when He led you in the way? Your own wickedness will correct you, and your backslidings will rebuke you. Know therefore and see that it is an evil and bitter thing that you have forsaken the LORD your God, and the fear of Me is not in you.

For of old I have broken your yoke and burst your bonds; and you said, "I will not transgress" When on every high hill and under every green tree, you lay down, playing the harlot.

Yet I planted you a noble vine, a seed of highest quality. How then have you turned before Me into the degenerate plant of an alien vine. For though you wash yourself with lye, and use much soap, yet your iniquity is marked before Me.

Saying to a tree, 'You are my father,' and to a stone, 'You gave birth to me.' For they have turned their back to Me, and not their face. But in the time of their trouble, they will say, 'Arise and save us.' But where are your gods that you have made for yourselves? Let them arise, if they can save you in the time of your trouble.

Yet My people have forgotten Me days without number.

I'm glad to be rebuked by God's word and not anything or anyone else. Lest I put my depedence on man again.

Anyway, its good to exercise and get back under the sun for a while. Played soccer today with the youth guys. Ha.. Think that my control have improved considerably. I actually scored with a header. Muahahahaha. :D Darren, you shall see my improvement next time. Maybe cos I play quite a fair bit back then in school.

I wouldnt be human if I didnt have fluctuating emotions. But I think its time to control them, and stop wanting to express them publically. But it would be difficult to make sucha radical change. I have been so used to expressing them whenever I feel like. I must master the art of keeping my cool on the surface just like some people are perfectly good at it, eh. Lol. No la, but the point is just to desire to pour my heart to God and be contented with that. Cos in the end, theres really so much a man can do, and if God doesnt choose to move anyone's heart.. its futile to go against His will. Proverbs says, "a man plans his ways, but God directs His steps."


Anyway.........

Thanks zak and del for accompanying me for two days to look for my bag! Lol. Feel even worst cos I didnt get a bag in the end! Hahahaha. :D

And.. I havent been talking to you lately too! Aye. Hope you're fine (: Take good care k!