Ever felt like you are really upset about issues around you, yet you cant do or say anything about them cos they arent exactly wrong and you arent exactly right, but you are really just helpless about it and that its troubling you and keeping you from doing the things you ought to do and living the life you ought to be living? My, thats a long sentence. HA. Now, that ought to turn me back on my knees, praying for His will to be done not mine. BUT, its really difficult.

Maybe its just diffiuclt to accept that they are always right, just because they appear to say the right things and do the right stuff. Its easy to give up things that are not important to you. Have you ever considered things that are important to you, would you be so willing to give them up?

The definition for hypocrisy is saying something and doing another. I think many of us can be culprits of that, some ignorant of the fact some not so ignorant. But still, we ought to be constantly checking ourselves, search our real motives and come clean before God and men. I dislike the feeling of saying things I dun mean, and sometimes if I do, I am not able to say them with conviction if I dont really mean them. But some people really have the ability to say things they dun mean with great conviction just for the sake of saying them to make their point. Its abit disturbing for me.

I dislike complications. Just when I thought things would get better, things become even more complicated than it used to be. The only reason I'm holding on to these things is because they mean to me and I love those things. But is it really love or merely foolishness? Why wait for something that may never happen, why not move on? Maybe things would be better on the other side of the 'world'. God teaches us to hope and wait expectantly for His will, not our own will. Isnt it foolish to think that we are waiting for what God wants when we are actually waiting for our selfish desires to be satisfied? Ha, I dunno why such issues are so common in our lives. Haha, if you are thinking I'm talking about you or even someone, you most probably would be wrong cos.. you're not me and you wont noe what this is all about. But.. even so, its my own problem that I have to deal with myself. Why I am blogging it? I dunno. But clearly its a struggle I am facing, but am I necessarily in sin becos of this, I dun really think so.

Ha, call me a SNAG. Trying to keep myself from using the taboo word, "_ _ _" Lol. But why must we air our emotions to the public, I dunno. Doesnt it show that we are human after all and evidently struggling with something? Perhaps you need some people to know about some issues you don't want to directly tell them, and you noe the message deals specifically to them and passerbys wouldnt understand them unless people deliberately try to infer and figure them out somehow. Or perhaps, the most wrong motive is just to get attention and want people to say nice things to you and comfort you. My motive would be choice 1 and 2 instead of 3. I just want things to be cool and normal and simple once again.

I wanna talk about my struggle with my studies, but really it doenst seem to be important to me at all. Its in the priority list for my things to do but I really dun feel like doing it! But I dun wanna remind myself about my studies again. I should be more far-sighted and focus on my studies before dealing with my emotional problems. But personally I cannot focus on my studies until emotional problems are settled. I have a feeling I'm gonna do the worst I will ever do in my academic life this year. Things are just getting too complicated for me to handle. Maybe, as some suggests, I am the problem. HA.

On a less personal note, I figured out that the demise of Pavarotti, one of my favour opera tenors is really really quite a tragedy. I'm ): about it. Its really sucha pity. Ohwell. But Owen scoring with a spectacular half-volley brought me smiles today. I wished he could revive his scoring ability once again (:

EOM, WR, Bio, Chem, Maths, Econs all within 2 weeks. Wish me all the best man.

People should stop running away from problems and start confronting them and resolving them. HA, I'm also talking about myself.