Readers beware: Content not suitable for the judgmental and the talkers. HA. If you find yourself in one of the either categories, kindly move your mouse to the top right hand corner of the screen and click the button with a cross on it. Sorry for the inconvenience caused.

HAHA relax I'm not gonna blog about something controversial. What I've said I've already said before, so its nothing new. I really just wanna say what I needa say:

Anyway I wasted my day today studying wasnt extremely productive even tho I probably would assume I covered two chapters of chemistry today. Hopefully tomorrow would be a better day for studying.

Now I understand why people can become extremely affected by judgmental comments even from people they do not know. I probably am oblivious to it but I believe I have often been a victim of one. HA, I feel that I am half innocent yet half not too innocent. Cos I know stuff that I never knew before and I dun exactly have very positive views about them. You know, its the feeling you get when someone comes along to tell you that people have been talking bad about you even though you are totally unaware of and.. yeah. I recently have been extremely sensitive to this kinda stuff. I know I will most probably be less affected it was in the past, but now I am not too indifferent about them and they kinda affects me to a certain extend, some more some less. HA, yeah maybe I'm becoming like the person you people have ascribed me to be. But I dun understand why people have to talk behind people's back. Its not a pleasant feeling cos ironically, you are being extremely insensitive to the person even though he doesnt hear it. If there just a bit of semblance of truth in whatever you are saying, you should just tell the person straight whether he takes it or not, thats his problem. I know I have been guilty of it but I know I dun feel too comfortable and dun do it often- talking bad about people behind their backs especially when its an opinion and people can just open their mouths and talk without thinking. Its.. crazy. I've said what I need to say about this issue. But I am certain people will still judge. People from school and yes, as well as friends from church. I know its possible to not judge becos I know of people who do not judge me but they are there to tell me when I do wrong- people like my cousins, and at times I am grateful when they keep mum about it and tell me things when appropriate. Talk is easy and cheap. You can open you mouth and say all you want to another person be it online or whatever and it wont cost you a single cent, but.. you dun noe how much hurt it can be to the other party.

Heh another thing that really upsets me is my keen sensitivity recently. Ha, generally speaking, I feel its better to be less sensitive in church and to be more sensitive when I am in school. Well, for the simple reason that you would be deemed over emotional if you are in church and you wouldnt be nice if you're not in school. Okay, I still think I make sense. But thats not my point. I dunno whether being sensitive is a bane of boon in my life. On one hand I can be sensitive to the needs of my friends around me and be there to care for them. On the other hand, it kinda puts them off cos there are times when being sensitive is not needed and you become a rather burdensome person when people have to constantly check up on whats happening to you and all. And sometimes being sensitive also means showing concern to people who does not want/need your concern. Aye. Is it even taboo for a guy to take about being sensitive, ANYWAY.

God gave me:

David who repented of his sin and sought God with all his heart
Peter who denied Jesus thrice but was restored and recommissioned to lead the twelve.
Joseph who fled from temptation.
Job who looked to God despite his afflictions.
Paul who was a rebel but became the great Apostle Paul for God to the gentiles.

But I'm not learning from any of them.

God, I think I'm messing up my own life real badly.