300th
Friday, November 2
This is my 300th entry! I'm gonna make it special. Hahaa.
Dinner at marina bay!I've been exhausted lately. I got to rest and relax a little more today tho but its not enough sia. So why have I been so worn out? Earlier this week it was because of OP but subsequently it was due to training as well as work. I've been running around non-stop and I really dun think I have time for myself to breathe. Hopefully things will get better soon.
Yesterday I worked from 4 to 1.30. It was draining... haha. But i'm just glad that I can reap the gains for my labour soon. The pay seriously is not very good so I'll probably at most work once a week from now on. Yesterday's banquet was quite special. It was an Indian wedding so I got to witness an indian wedding! I think the good thing about working at wedding banquets is that you are exposed to different types of weddings and hopefully, figure and plan out a "perfect" wedding for yourself in future. Cos there are really nice ideas here and there. Anw I was totally drained because I did OT yesterday. Reached home and slept at around 3. :/ The people working there are generally nice I feel, like they'll take care of you, esp those older workers. But there are some quite difficult and mean people and some evidently selfish people too! Ah, there are just a myriad of people around and you get to learn how to interact with them.
Yesterday I worked from 4 to 1.30. It was draining... haha. But i'm just glad that I can reap the gains for my labour soon. The pay seriously is not very good so I'll probably at most work once a week from now on. Yesterday's banquet was quite special. It was an Indian wedding so I got to witness an indian wedding! I think the good thing about working at wedding banquets is that you are exposed to different types of weddings and hopefully, figure and plan out a "perfect" wedding for yourself in future. Cos there are really nice ideas here and there. Anw I was totally drained because I did OT yesterday. Reached home and slept at around 3. :/ The people working there are generally nice I feel, like they'll take care of you, esp those older workers. But there are some quite difficult and mean people and some evidently selfish people too! Ah, there are just a myriad of people around and you get to learn how to interact with them.
I've been thinking, that I haven't been doing any reflection of sorts for a very long time. Even if I do, they are quite superficial. HA, in fact its an irony that I said I have been thinking. Well, I havent been thinking as in pondering. But this thought just happen to pop up in my mind.. When was the last time I have been physically, mentally and spiritually still? A long time ago. I think I've been trying to pack my schedule with activities which isnt bad tho. Cos I do a lot of redundant and stupid stuff when I am free- like play computer games :/ But yes, to quote from Jim berg, and no, I havent heard his sermon, "how do you quiet a noisy soul"? Fact is, even if I make time to be still I would end up doing some redundant stuff, haha like today. I guess it goes on in cycles. If your soul is noisy, you wont want it to be still and you'll just keep looking for activities to fill time. Whats wrong with being quiet and alone and bored sometimes? I wonder where that "solitude" part of me went, recently? But fact is, I'm apprehensive to sit down and think through my life cos its gonna be painful and uncomfortable, if I'm gonna have to do something abt it. The inertia now isnt helping cos I cant find myself a reason to move on.
On a lighter and sad note, I'll miss this year's cantata cos I'm going for holiday with my family. Well the sad part isnt that I cant help out or I cant watch it, but I wont be there to bring my friends for it. Oh well. If there's something I want my friends to go and watch, with or without me, it'll be this. But if God wills, He can make the circumstantially impossible, possible.
I feel like I'm on the brink of losing many things- in fact, everything. I'm not too emotional about it but I'm contemplating the thought and the possibility that it may be so if I am, double-minded in my decisions. But it would be good I presume if I were to lose all. The painful process of prying things from my hands would lead to good, I hope, if I could learn to yield eventually. Everything's quite fluid in the sense that I really cannot see what lies before me. Perhaps I need to walk and live by faith and not by sight now. Give me more time- time to be still.
Well, I hope people wont read too much into this entry. Nothing drastic is gonna happen.
Jesus, Thy boundless love to me
No thought can reach, no tongue declare;
Unite my thankful heart to Thee
And reign without a rival there.
Thine wholly, Thine alone I am
Be Thou alone my constant flame
Oh, grant that nothing in my soul
May dwell but Thy pure love alone!
Oh, may Thy love possess me whole,
My Joy, my Treasure, and my Crown!
Nothing may I seek,
And naught desire or seek but Thee!
No thought can reach, no tongue declare;
Unite my thankful heart to Thee
And reign without a rival there.
Thine wholly, Thine alone I am
Be Thou alone my constant flame
Oh, grant that nothing in my soul
May dwell but Thy pure love alone!
Oh, may Thy love possess me whole,
My Joy, my Treasure, and my Crown!
Nothing may I seek,
And naught desire or seek but Thee!
I need to seek my First Love, badly.
