(:

I realised I havent been blogging much real content recently. Hehe. In actual fact so much has been going on in my life-so much changes- and so much that I actually need to tell people, yet at the same time there is so little I can blog here. Haha. Nonetheless, I will do my part in updating my faithful bloggers what has been going on in my life and provide perhaps a glimpse of the deeper stuff. (:

Today marks the first day of children's camp. I promise I had every single intention to go down to help out- I even told my coach I cant train double this week so that I can free myself to make it down. But I went home late today maybe around 130 and I realised I was extremely tired. So I decided to give the first day a miss and start packing my stuff cos we are going to move house again :/ Tomorrow would also mean trainings 5am at nassim road which means i have to get up super early. So.. I think I should not go down just yet. Furthermore I really dun wanna be feeling lost there. Okay tomorrow I will try to go down after training.

Gosh I really cant believe youth camp is next week! What are my expectations for this camp? Well, I think my expectations this year is so much lower than that of years before. I only ask God to revive my heart and point me to the way I ought to walk. I have been walking too long in my sin and my stubborn ways. I do not even feel called of God right now. I hope time at camp and even my china trip would be good time away from e world to sit down and reflect upon where I really am heading. I dun think its as much as being a good leader just yet. I just need to get my life back in shape. I know camps arent the only place to do so but they certainly provide a safe environment to do so. I will probably need to do alot of sharing and talking with people who can give me advice on my life's situation, and maybe alot of listening to. Strange that I no longer receive God's word with fear and reverence. I need to learn to do so too..

Life is simply fantastic now for me. Physically, emotionally, mentally. I am feeling fit like never before thanks to my at least 120km mileage a week. No longer struggling much with emotional problems not much friendship difficulties to deal with. Dear ones around me to love. And really just time to do nothing but train, sleep, slack, etc. I no longer want to return to the state of depression and torment. I wish life could forever be this wonderful and perfect and that I can enjoy those around me in this manner. Well. I do have a dilemna to overcome tho. Yet I am hoping that I can still be recommissioned by the Lord to start serving without actually having to deal with this dilemna just yet.

Ah. I am reall so constraint by what I can say on this blog. Pardon me if you do not get the full picture. But life really is pleasant I should say, apart from the fact that I dearly need to be back at His side, once more.